Saturday, July 4, 2009

SHOWerTIME Fiasco: Kobe Bryant & Ron Artest In Psycho (Lakers Edition)

Let's backtrack about 13 months ago when the Lakers and Kobe Bryant found themselves in a quite different position than that of today's continual purple and gold euphoria. NBA Finals 2008. Game 6. 39pt blow out. Green and white confetti. KG's "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!" dyslexic misquote. Kobe mad (not because KG screwed up Adidas's slogan though).

The funny thing is, while many credit this date as the crucial turning point in changing the entire team's whole mentality and toughening them up through adversity, they also fail to recognize one other very significant part about this date that has also since come full circle - it was the day Ron Artest prophesied his Purple and Gold intervention.

According to Kobe Bryant, right after the Lakers lost game six of the 08' NBA Finals in Boston, he rushed to the shower, livid and inconsolable. In the midst of his rage, he suddenly heard somebody walk in and simply assumed that it was just one of his teammates. To his surprise, when he looked up, there Ron Artest stood, right in front of him (naked, I'm not sure, but knowing Ron, 'nothing is impossible'). To this day, Kobe has no idea how Artest got into the locker room.

“I want to come help you,” Artest said. “If I can, I’m going to find a way to come to LA and give you the help you need to win a title.”

Now, that story in and of itself is already quite iRONic (lame, i know), prophetic, and downright hilarious. It perfectly highlights Artest's quirky, weird eccentricities that make him...well, Ron Artest - or the Shower Prophet as I like to call him now.

Anyway, when I heard this story, inbetween my laughter, I found the whole 'Artest popping out of nowhere to surprise Kobe' a little bit creepy. And for some reason, the only images that kept materializing in my head were the iconic shower scenes in Alfred Hitchcock's infamous PSYCHO thriller. Here's how I thought it went down...

(Hey Kob'. Sorry to startle you. It's me, Ron. Just wanna say I'm gonna find a way to come to LA & help you win a ring. K.I.T, H.A.G.S!)

So yea, that's how I envisioned that entire shower interaction between the Black Mamba and Tru Warier. Some say I have a vivid imagination. I'd like to take it one step further and say that it's a little more...Psycho.

And you can expect the Purple and Gold to be just a little more Psycho next year as well. Showtime can thank one moment of Showertime for eventually bringing them their Killer.

The Door is closed, The Lights Are Out, The Butter's Gettin' Hard, and the Jello'sss Jigglin,
Jonathan Hernandez aka (Chick's Fridge)
Happy Fourth of July!

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