Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Knock-Out NBA News Recap: From Powe to Pau to B-Diddy's Private Pics, Wow!

General NBA News:

- The Cleveland Cavaliers sign Leon Powe to a two-year deal. If he ever gets healthy and returns to his active 2008 form, the league better watch out. Boston will most likely regret the day they let him go, the day he poetically beats them in a wine and gold jersey, and the day Lebron James' decision to stay with the Cavs hinges solely upon Powe's improvement as a rising star. But let's not get ahead of ourselves - he still has till 2010 before he sees the hardwood.

This train has passed, Boston. Right through Powe's out-stretched legs. What.

- Ben Wallace returns to the Detroit Pistons just after seriously considering retirement. He will most likely back-up the great Kwamay Brown (my how the mighty have fallen). In other news, did you know that Ben Wallace first came into the league as a point guard? Him and Nash were point guard rivals in college. And him and the air were free throw rivals during this game:


Lebron knows what's up.

Lakers
News:


- Kurt Rambis nabs the head coaching job for the Minnesota Timberwolves. We wish him the best and hope he can somehow facilitate Ricky Rubio for Sasha Vujacic trade with the Lakers. What impact will this leaving have on the Lakers' championship hopes? Well...they did just get a little less white.

- Pau Gasol injures his left hand during Team Spain's practice and has subsequent surgery soon after. He will be out for 3 weeks and should be just healthy enough before the season begins to effectively resume looking awkward at the free throw line.

Double goose-neck - impressive. Looking like a sasquatch - impressively priceless.

- Someone suggested that we should bubble wrap all the Lakers players for the rest of the summer to insure nobody gets injured. Sounds like a great idea. While we're at it, let's go one step further with Sasha and place him into a nice UPS box and ship him off as well - nicely bubble wrapped and all.

Clippers News:

- A Ramon Sessions signing by the Clippers appears imminent after the Knicks have apparently dropped out of the race. If Dunleavy can nab this rising, young guard, the supporting cast of the future for the L.A. Blakers would appear to be filling out just nicely.

- The Clippers traded a pick to the Hornets for shooting wing-man Rasual Butler. They continue to get significantly deeper and deeper - by bench and by long-ball...especially if 6'10 shooting goddess Steve Novak accepts the current offer sheet being presented to him as well.

- Baron Davis has reportedly gotten his laptop stolen. He is also reportedly very concerned that some private pictures of his found within the laptop might be leaked onto the internet. His lawyers have gotten involved and have sent out a warning to the culprit that if Davis's privacy is violated and these pictures are released, a lawsuit will be filed. What's more perplexing to me is the fact that Baron Davis could possibly have any more embarrassing and disturbing pictures than this one:

Conan O'Brien: He's not afraid of people seeing any sexual pictures...He's afraid of people seeing him wearing a Clippers jersey. Ouch.

We can only hope that 1. Baron Davis didn't go Vanessa Anne Hudgens on us, 2. that he's not friends with R. Kelly, and 3. that every one involved in those pictures is of legal age to go to Dave and Buster's. In the end, who knows, maybe Davis is just hiding some embarrassing cue pictures that he took at an Asian place. In any case, we're all cue-rious.


The Fridge Neatly Packages NBA News For You In Nice, Witty Tupperware,
Jonathan Hernandez (Chick's Fridge)

3 comments:

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  2. Hilarious photos Jonathan. I mean has there ever been a photo produced that doesn't make Pau look like a confused neanderthal? Hey, at least he looks better than his Geico brother Marc.

    I agree that Leon Powe could make a difference with the Cavs, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. After all, he's just a role player and he's coming off a major surgery. Hopefully the former Cal Bear will be able to get his career back on track. I still can't get his end-to-end dunk against the Lakers in the Finals out of my damn mind!

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  3. i saw that video and all pictures...all are very hillarious..all are better than each
    Kristina

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