Gobstopper Affair: Web Reactions to Lamar Odom's Dilly-Dallying

One day, he's ready to pledge his allegiance to all things purple and gold and commit himself to dynastic championship lore. The next day, he's in Heat like a dog, anxiously ready to exchange Kobe and LA for Wade and Miam-ay.

Willy Wonka holding an ever-lasting Gobstopper. The way things have been going lately, he looks a lot closer to wearing the purple and gold than Lamar is.

At this point, trying to predict the end-time for all things Lamar Odom-related and which way he might be leaning towards at any particularly given hour is like trying to predict the end-time of an everlasting Gobstopper and what specific colors it'll change to as it melts in your mouth at any particularly given minute. The only real givens are that it'll take a really long time, there will be lots of varying colors involved (just like Lamar's fashion), and Lamar Odom still likes sweets. And you may end up just biting something or someone before waiting for it all to unfold.

Following these negotiations, with its conflicting reports and flip-flopping sandal tendencies, has become so wearisome that I find it to be purely comical now. For all us Laker fans alike, it's literally time to stop hitting ourselves over the heads agonizing over whether or not we should finally pull out our sweet-tooth towards everyone's favorite 6'10 chocolate candy bar (I love taking these L.O.-candy analogies to really strange, far-off places.). At this point, it's time to just relax and have fun.

Regardless of whether or not Lamar Odom returns, the Lakers will survive. Us fans will survive. And Adam Morrison will survive, resurrect his career, and take over the league. Take that, Odom.

Lamar Odom is amused. We haven't been.

Clearly, all of these negotiations involving Buss, Odom, the Laker front office, and now, D-Wade the Desperate and Pat Riley the Parrot have made us all a little crazy. But if we just take a step back from all the mayhem and coolly regain some of our previous World-Championship-like composure (an oxymoron, I'm sure), we'll be able to see just how ridiculously serious, dramatic, and worked up we were over such a hilarious stand-up comedy show! Let's not miss out on all the fun anymore. Here are just a few of the funny web-reactions towards the L.O. dealings by a couple of familiar faces :

1. D-Wade's Bird-Call of Love:

This is for Lamar Odom...come back to where it started for the both of us..the franchise u helped build back up wants u to End it all here. 8:58 AM Jul 25th from TweetGenius

- dwadeofficial

Wade's funny. What is this? A Korean drama? ..I recommend Autumn In My Heart.

2. Keri Hilson's Song-Dedication for Lamar:




Yes, Keri Hilson's song "Energy", is in fact about Lamar Odom. Take a look at some of the lyrics...

Chances fadin' now,
Patience runnin' out,
This ain't how it's supposed to be.

I'm havin' nightmares from sleepin' with the enemy, (enemy) (no no)
How do we reverse the chemistry? (chemistry)
I don't want us to be the end of me
This love is takin' all of my energy, (energy)
Energy, (energy)
My energy, (energy)
Takin' all of my energy, (energy)
Energy, (energy)
My energy, (energy)
Takin' all of (my energy).

Keri Hilson seems to be a bit tired...

3. Stephon Marbury Crying At the Thought of Lamar Leaving the Lakers:




Yes, he's that big of a Laker fan. Level up, Marbs. I mean...suck it up.

...

Anyway, just thought it was time to take a different approach on handling all these L.O.-blow shenanigans by totally smashing on it. Here's to hoping these stalled negotiations NEVER END. That's right, I hope they LAST FOREVER, like a fricken' everlasting Gobstopper.

Who am I kidding, end this already. Like Hoopsworld/Laker analyst Eric Pincus stated so cleverly earlier today on his twitter:

L.A. is on the left coast, Miami on the right - do what comes natural L.O. and go left.
(paraphrased...that's right, we're paraphrasing twitter quotes now)

Don't stop till you get enough...

The Fridge is still waiting,
Jonathan Hernandez (Chick's Fridge)

Under the Buss Negotiations: L.O.- Lakers Deal Appears Imminent?

Apparently there's an end to this game after all...

In observing the recent ebb and flow of all things Lamar Odom-related , it appears likely that an Odom-Lakers deal is imminent. According to AM830 Roger Lodge, Lamar Odom met with Dr. Buss in a room (as opposed to a hot tub) and will stay with the Lakers for 4 years/$40M. This isn't official, but news and opinions from around the league seem to coincide with this same likelihood. [Update] As recently as Wednesday, July 22, L.A. Times has confirmed that Buss and Odom have reopened negotiations and that things are looking very productive.

Furthermore, Luke Walton gave this assurance to people at a public tournament (for curly hair) he attended this past weekend:

LO will be a Laker. Trust me.

It's Luuke. You'd be wise to trust. Or he'll make you trust...with his Jedi mind tricks.

To recap all the tension and strife between these back-and-forth negotiations with Lamar Odom and Jerry Buss, here's a parody video that gives us an in-depth look at just how fiery things got:



Best Quote:

"Maybe if we wait it out, Odom will finally come down off this sugar high and quit being such a douche cake."

Fortunately for everyone, this game of Candy Land is finally drawing to a conclusion, and here in L.A., it's never too out of the question for everyone to get his equal share of the cake. Minus the douche.

The Fridge Is Cooling Tensions,
Jonathan Hernandez (Chick's Fridge)

Not So Sweet Goodbye: Lakers LOw On Sugar?

Was this really the team that just won the championship? I hope this isn't the start of some really bad snowballs rolling our way. Too up and down a Summer for me, and I think I might throw up soon.

Recap of events in the last month and a half:

Trevor Ariza leaves. Sad turn of events for the L.A. native.

Ron Artest signs for a relatively cheap contract by his standards. Repeat here we come!

Sasha Vujacic is still a Laker. And still getting paid $5 mill a year. "Why?" - some child in Africa.

Shannon Brown turns down a more lucrative contract with the Indiana Pacers to resign with the Lakers. Heart of a champion!

Lamar Odom and his agent turn down a $9 mill a year for 3 years deal after the Lakers raised their offer from $7 mill a year. Odom's been chewing on those sour patches a little too much. Sucks like a month-old lollipop Odom forgot under his bed.

Adam Morrison seems fully healthy and ready to revive his career, avg 20 pts through his first 4 games in the Vegas Summer League. Resurgence of the Bird Apparent!

And in recent developments, the Lakers front office has seemingly pulled the offer from the table, obviously frustrated with how negotiations with Odom's agent have gone. Don't play hard-ball with the front office. EFF!

[Update: Odom was offered $30 mill/3 years OR $36mill/4 years...Odom's camp rejected both. Odom led the Lakers with 1.3 rejections last season. He's good at rejections. Buss? Even better. Offer officially withdrawn.]

Sour, I know.

...

Well, fans who have clamored for a Lamar Odom trade almost every summer that he's been a Laker will finally get their wish - although this summer, it's probably their biggest dread. There will be no sugar rush in L.A. next year, but there will still be rush hour...

What was shaping up to be a Summer of Greater Expectations for the 2009 World Champion Lakers has quickly turned into a Summer of Absolute Discontent. How could feelings of champagne bliss switch to grievances of contract piss so quickly? But really, after the unfortunate mishandling of Trevor Ariza's contract (who still desperately wants to be a Laker despite symbolically stepping into T-Mac's #1 jersey), and the recent signings of Shannon Brown and Ron Artest (who both turned down more money to play for the Lakers) - how has it come to this?

The Lakers aren't betraying their players, the players aren't betraying their teams - it's the agents who are betraying their own common sense (if they were ever once not clogged by dollar signs).

I'm not sure what to make of this recent speculation that the Lakers have withdrawn their offer from Odom's camp, but I do know that it will be a very sad day in L.A. when Lamar Odom officially leaves and signs with another team - regardless of who we may think is in the wrong. Unfortunately, it is pride and greed that have made their presence known more than anything else this past summer when it comes to the arena of cordial diplomacy and contractual business - and that's never been a recipe for anything sweet.

Click here for the source of sourness.

Expect the worst. Be surprised by the best.

[More on this as it develops...]

The Fridge Is Almost Closed Lamar,
Jonathan Hernandez (Chick's Fridge)