Allen Iverson: Their Burden to Bear (Grizzlies Bear that is...)

The Memphis Grizzlies have just signed Allen Iverson to a one year, $3.5 million contract and I can almost hear Regis Philbin in the background, bemoaningly asking the Memphis front-office, "Is that really your final answer?"

Grr.

So it seems as though Allen Iverson's past forays of chemistry tampering with his recent teams were just mere 'practice' (had to) for the true challenges that lay ahead for him and the Memphis Grizzlies. Whether or not these Grizzlies will be forced to 'bear' the burden of having to coddle and cater to an aging superstar who seems to be tightly hanging onto the laurels of his 2001 glory days will depend primarily upon what Answer they get on and off the court.

In recent years, Allen Iverson has been degraded and resigned to an almost Starbury-like status, in which every team he's been traded to has significantly gotten worse, while every team he's left behind has significantly gotten better. Even the USA Team faltered under his leadership - or maybe we can just blame Marbury for also being on that team. Luckily for Iverson, the comparisons (we hope) start and end with basketball, for he has yet to fully fall off the edge of sanity like Marbury has. Although the two do share an eerily similar love for...crying. Unlike Iverson however, who's emotional breakdowns are usually backed up by sentimentally humanistic triggers, Marbury enjoys videotaping his weep-fests and syncing it up to background gospel music without giving us any explanation whatsoever as to what's going on or why he's even crying. The Grizzlies can only pray that Iverson's final bow takes on a vastly different route than that of Starbury's - or there will be a lot of tears and gospel music (or Elvis music) to go around in Memphis.

Overall though, Iverson has always remained a fan favorite - the small, gritty player that everyone loved to root for because he seemed to represent every underdog's struggle. He always carried this 'prodigal son, bad-boy' image, but because he's always been so open and real about himself, these characteristics made him a more relatable player to the normal everyday person who struggled to live up to the expectations of the world. And though on the court, people like former coach Larry Brown may have continually questioned his shot selection, no one ever questioned his heart and fight. But now as a newly signed Memphis Grizzly, the 'toughest pound-for-pound player' in the league must show that he can be the toughest mind-for-mind player in the league by keeping his mental composure in check if he has any chance at resurrecting his career.

What? You're saying I need practice on how I answer my own questions?

Yes, there will be lots of practices involved - and not just the ones that happen on court, but the ones that will involve relational patience and amiable coexistence with teammates and coaches. And no, Allen Iverson will not be able to jack up the same number of shots that he was able to when he once iterated the word 'practice' in a post-game interview approximately 24 1/2 times (which is already a low in terms of shot-attempts for a man who once led the league in scoring on several different occasions...so every 1/2 counts). Can he develop a more consistent outside shot that will allow the real future cornerstones of the franchise to have more of the ball in their hands? Can he become a Rip Hamilton player and play off screens and cuts? Can he actually become a pass-first 7 apg point-guard rather than the shoot-first 7 apg point guard that he's always been throughout his career? All these questions and more will continue to loom over all our heads until the season begins, but more than anything, Iverson's real battle will happen internally between himself and his ego and whether or not he's willing to sacrifice his own decorated resume for the betterment of his impressionable young teammates.

It will be interesting to see how a backcourt of Allen Iverson, O.J. Mayo, and one ball will all fit, but the bigger question lies on whether or not Iverson will hamper the promising developments of the Grizzlies other burgeoning young players - Rudy Gay, Marc Gasol, Mike Conley, Hasheem Thabeet. Oh yeah, and there's that Zach Randolph guy too, but one can only wonder if that guy's fate will only end up quickly crumbling down like that of another New York Knickerbocker's - Eddy Curry. Either way, if Iverson's truly ready to prove the world wrong, he'll need to re-develop his game as quickly as his young teammates have theirs, or else we could truly end up seeing not one, but several, NBA players' careers die-out because of...'canswer'.

The Fridge has the final answer,
Jonathan Hernandez (Chick's Fridge)

Gobstopper Affair: Web Reactions to Lamar Odom's Dilly-Dallying

One day, he's ready to pledge his allegiance to all things purple and gold and commit himself to dynastic championship lore. The next day, he's in Heat like a dog, anxiously ready to exchange Kobe and LA for Wade and Miam-ay.

Willy Wonka holding an ever-lasting Gobstopper. The way things have been going lately, he looks a lot closer to wearing the purple and gold than Lamar is.

At this point, trying to predict the end-time for all things Lamar Odom-related and which way he might be leaning towards at any particularly given hour is like trying to predict the end-time of an everlasting Gobstopper and what specific colors it'll change to as it melts in your mouth at any particularly given minute. The only real givens are that it'll take a really long time, there will be lots of varying colors involved (just like Lamar's fashion), and Lamar Odom still likes sweets. And you may end up just biting something or someone before waiting for it all to unfold.

Following these negotiations, with its conflicting reports and flip-flopping sandal tendencies, has become so wearisome that I find it to be purely comical now. For all us Laker fans alike, it's literally time to stop hitting ourselves over the heads agonizing over whether or not we should finally pull out our sweet-tooth towards everyone's favorite 6'10 chocolate candy bar (I love taking these L.O.-candy analogies to really strange, far-off places.). At this point, it's time to just relax and have fun.

Regardless of whether or not Lamar Odom returns, the Lakers will survive. Us fans will survive. And Adam Morrison will survive, resurrect his career, and take over the league. Take that, Odom.

Lamar Odom is amused. We haven't been.

Clearly, all of these negotiations involving Buss, Odom, the Laker front office, and now, D-Wade the Desperate and Pat Riley the Parrot have made us all a little crazy. But if we just take a step back from all the mayhem and coolly regain some of our previous World-Championship-like composure (an oxymoron, I'm sure), we'll be able to see just how ridiculously serious, dramatic, and worked up we were over such a hilarious stand-up comedy show! Let's not miss out on all the fun anymore. Here are just a few of the funny web-reactions towards the L.O. dealings by a couple of familiar faces :

1. D-Wade's Bird-Call of Love:

This is for Lamar Odom...come back to where it started for the both of us..the franchise u helped build back up wants u to End it all here. 8:58 AM Jul 25th from TweetGenius

- dwadeofficial

Wade's funny. What is this? A Korean drama? ..I recommend Autumn In My Heart.

2. Keri Hilson's Song-Dedication for Lamar:




Yes, Keri Hilson's song "Energy", is in fact about Lamar Odom. Take a look at some of the lyrics...

Chances fadin' now,
Patience runnin' out,
This ain't how it's supposed to be.

I'm havin' nightmares from sleepin' with the enemy, (enemy) (no no)
How do we reverse the chemistry? (chemistry)
I don't want us to be the end of me
This love is takin' all of my energy, (energy)
Energy, (energy)
My energy, (energy)
Takin' all of my energy, (energy)
Energy, (energy)
My energy, (energy)
Takin' all of (my energy).

Keri Hilson seems to be a bit tired...

3. Stephon Marbury Crying At the Thought of Lamar Leaving the Lakers:




Yes, he's that big of a Laker fan. Level up, Marbs. I mean...suck it up.

...

Anyway, just thought it was time to take a different approach on handling all these L.O.-blow shenanigans by totally smashing on it. Here's to hoping these stalled negotiations NEVER END. That's right, I hope they LAST FOREVER, like a fricken' everlasting Gobstopper.

Who am I kidding, end this already. Like Hoopsworld/Laker analyst Eric Pincus stated so cleverly earlier today on his twitter:

L.A. is on the left coast, Miami on the right - do what comes natural L.O. and go left.
(paraphrased...that's right, we're paraphrasing twitter quotes now)

Don't stop till you get enough...

The Fridge is still waiting,
Jonathan Hernandez (Chick's Fridge)

Abstract Art-est On Display : In-depth Analysis on Ariza and Artest's Game of Musical Chairs

Fresh Out the Fridge (the Laker perspective):

Playing pool at Odom's crib. - Ron Artest's Twitter

Whether or not this was truly an update from the Tru Warier himself is irrelevant now, for right after seeing such a seemingly random tidbit on Artest's Twitter late last night, I instantly became certain that Lamar Odom had this particular 96 ball cornered in just the right pocket. Ok fine, so maybe there isn't any pool ball that's numbered 96, but as of tonight, July 2nd, 2009, there IS a new Laker that's numbered 96 (although knowing Artest, he'll probably choose a new number...like 3.14), and we can all thank Odom, pool, and candy for that! In reality, Buss and Mitch reportedly sat down with Ron Artest for a cup of tea today and prodded him to eventually join the Purple and Gold. The Twitter story just sounded more interesting. Although I'm sure Lamar "The CandyMan" Odom, who Artest played organized ball with in Queens as a kid, played a crucial role in Artest's final decision - his sweet stash and Laker eye candy were probably too much for Artest to say 'No' to. That sounded inappropriate.



In regards to Trevor Ariza, Laker fans can only lament his sad fate and thank him for his hustle, hard work, and overall admirable services in helping the team get its 15th Championship. However, as is so often the case in these sorts of dealings, the business side of things had to come in and ruin all the fun. Enter Agent David Lee, who after hard-balling Buss and Kupchak for the past 24 hours and attempting to squeeze out as much payday from them as he could, now finds himself having to tell his client (who grew up in LA, loves LA, and supposedly "bleeds purple and gold") that he will have to settle for the mid-level offer and continue playing with a Chinese teammate...except this offer was not from the Lakers, and not with the Rising Sun Yue, but from the Houston Rockets, and the Fallen Tower Yao Ming.


(Ron Artest Owning NBA Forward David Lee. On this day, he also owned NBA Agent, David Lee)

Putting it simply, David Lee made a mess out of this entire situation and screwed Ariza over. If there is any similarity between the agent and the Knicks' curly-haired forward (also David Lee), it's that both love to scramble for rebounds. In Agent David Lee's case, the Houston Rockets became his desperate rebound option, and sadly for Trevor, it was his agent, not him, who let the ball slip with the Lakers. David Lee betrayed his client and ironically tried to pull a Trevor Ariza and 'steal' some extra cash from a Laker front office that simply wasn't going to budge. He should have known that the Lakers had an ace in the hole in Ron Artest and that he couldn't win in a bluffing game with Mitch and Jerry, one that he initiated. But who knows, maybe Trevor Ariza will get his chance to shine and see if he can become the cornerstone of a franchise - which is exactly the situation he'll find himself facing on a team with a deteriorating Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady headlining the Rocket Launch (or Failure to Launch, starring Matthew McConaughey).

In the end, I wish him the best and truly hope he can fulfill his utmost potential. Knowing Trevor's focus and strong work ethic, there's no reason to think he won't.

There's also no reason to think that the Lakers won't win their 16th Championship next year either. Provided that the Lakers ink LO7 soon, with the addition of Kobe's new German Shepherd Ron Artest, the Lakers have just gained a little more toughness, offensive power, and...insanity. The wild card. In what was essentially a two-way trade between the Lakers and Rockets for each of their respective forwards, the Lakers came out the glaring victors of this deal for at least the short-term. Artest instantly provides a more polished and reliable three point shot (when he decides to take good shots) and a rough, bull-dog tenacity on defense that will allow Kobe to conserve more energy on the offensive end and prolong his overall productivity for another 3-4 years. He's also just a weird, scary player that others don't really want to rub the wrong way. Translated - the Lakers are now a weird, scary team that hates back rubs (I don't know).

In the end, I'm ecstatic about the trade and ready for another exciting, if not unpredictable, title run in 09-10. For those with doubts about Artest, let's not forget that Phil Jackson was able to reel in a player by the name of Dennis Rodman, who once came to a book signing wearing a wedding dress. Nothing about Dennis Rodman, books, and wedding dresses sound enticing, but he sure did help get Phil some rings. Ron Artest hopes to do the same baby. LAKE TOWN, SHAKE TOWN.

The Fridge Is Closed, The Lights Are Out, The Butter's Getting Hard, and The Jello's Jiggling,
Jonathan Hernandez aka Chick's Fridge


Laying Down The Law (the Clipper perspective):

Imagine playing pick up ball with your buddies. It's point up, win by twos. The game has gone back and forth and the intensity is picking up with each play. Overly zealous players are fighting and shoving for position down on the block, bickering over calls and hard fouls. Finally someone hits the game winner. And just as everyone starts complaining about the shot, you see a friend of yours break off a piece of wood from a bench and shank the guy in the heart.

Such is the background of newest Los Angeles Laker, Ron Artest.

Well known for his hard-nosed play on Defense, Ron's only glaring weakness in recent years is his erroneous assumption that it is to his team's benefit that he should create shots for himself on his own and put up 15-25 FGAs per game. Such assumptions should be put to rest when playing with one who somewhat unerringly feels the same way in Kobe B.

Being on a team where Ron rarely needs to create his own shot, he should benefit greatly on the offensive end over the next few years. It'll be interesting to see how Trevor Ariza does the rest of his career without Kobe creating wide open jumpers for him.

Congrats to the Lakers on not overpaying Ariza, and upgrading to an All Star and former Defensive player of the year in Ron-Ron at the MLE. No doubt about it, they are top dog contenders for the NBA crown over the next 3 years.

This really has no relevance towards the Clippers except that the Lakers have once again stolen the little bit of thunder the Clippers had for a short while just as their fortunes seemed to have turned with Blake Griffin falling into their laps, and desperate enough teams like the Memphis Grizzlies taking on Zach Randolph's $30+ million over the next two years. Just as the Clippers had begun to see glimmers of light at the end of this elongated post-2006 tunnel, the Lakers once again have reminded us all that the Clips are still far off from being an upper-echelon team. But at least the pieces are falling in good places for both teams this offseason.

Lawler's Law Always Prevails,
Mike Whang aka Lawler's Bingo Card